


This is How it Ends

by PrivateerRaen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Diary/Journal, Drug Addiction, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 03:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5359670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrivateerRaen/pseuds/PrivateerRaen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was easy to pretend nothing was wrong. There were still hunts to go on and, people to save, crappy diners to eat at. There was research to be done. It didn't matter that the world was ending, we still have to move on, we still had to try to save it. It was easy to act like nothing was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entry I

Journal Entry December 08 2009

The Prophet Chuck has asked me to write my experiences and, while I do not know why he has graciously given me this notepad and pen so I will do as he asks. Although I believe I should note that Dean has said that this is "a gigantic waste of time". However the Prophet says that this might help my slow descent into human-hood and, I have no reason not to do so, so this leads me to believe that I will for awhile at least. 

So far it has been over a month since Samuel Winchester has left to fine his own way and, while am not sure, Dean adamantly believes that Sam will return. I think this is putting strain on him emotionally but, he will not talk to me and, does not talk to Bobby. I think in time he will be fine...hopefully.

As for my fading grace, I'm now feeling tired which is strange but, tolerable. Teleporting is beginning to be troublesome but after two hours of sleep I seem to be fine. Dean says I need to start eating more but, I've been avoiding that human need for sometime now. Ever since Famine I have not wanted to eat anything even though I know that the body I'm in needs food. I know that Deans right though and soon it wont be an option to not eat it'll be a necessity if I want to help Dean in the fight against Lucifer.


	2. Entry II

Journal Entry December 25 2009

Dean has been calling Samuel constantly, I think that his emotional state is quickly deteriorating. Although I have found that there is nothing much I can do. Bobby tries to keep him busy with cars and hunts but, his worry seems to overshadow everything he does. 

Bobby has been trying to contact other hunters to warn them whats going on some know, some don't but, most are dead it seems Lucifer been killing hunter systematical for a while now. Bobby seems worried about this information. Bobby has been trying unite the hunters that are left, saying that "there is comfort in numbers", but the hunters are suborn and most of them want to work alone. Dean doesn't even want to work with the other hunters saying we can figure this out on our own. I think I agree with Bobby though the more hunters on our side would be better.

As for Chuck his visions are getting worst. They're longer and more intense then what they use to be. Chuck for the most part is staying strong mostly just drinking until he falls asleep. The strange thing is though is that Chuck doesn't talk about the visions anymore mostly saying that he's not getting anything that would help or avoiding questions entirely. I fine this worry some in its self whatever the future hold its going to get worst before its going to get better. 

I've had to start eating, I find this uncomfortable, although I fine everything about falling uncomfortable its so different then what I'm use to. I can see why my brothers and sisters find humans unworthy of our fathers love, but father made humans this way so there must be a point to it all, I hope. On some what of a bright side it seems that Dean feels better when he's taking care of my human needs, so I will continue to ask for his help. I just hope its enough.


	3. Entry III

January 2 2010

Both Dean and Bobby seem to believe that I must participate in the new year celebrations last night which, I have found out, was drinking copious amounts of alcohol. I tried multiple times to decline but, Dean says its a human tradition a must if I want to fit in, and I do want to fit in. Drinking is weird and since I've lost most of my grace I could feel it. I don't think I like drinking my head got heavy, the world was spinning, and Dean talks too loudly. I felt a large hole in my chest and it ached I wanted it to stop but it didn't. I left to my room early and I cried myself to sleep. 

This morning I felt weird in a bad way. There was something wrong with my stomach, it hurt. I screamed for Dean to help, and by the time he came I was shaking, sweating, and scared. Dean brought a bucket put it in my lap, placed my head over it and petted my hair. Having the contents of my stomach come out through my mouth is not an enjoyable experience. It burnt my throat. Although Dean petting my hair was nice, I don't think I want to drink with Bobby and Dean again. Dean says the bad experience was just because I'm a light-weight.


End file.
